Last week, I was telling my husband how I feel like I am out in the desert at night, alone. It’s cold and dark. Behind me in the distance is the walled city, closed up for the night. I can see the glow of the lights spilling out into the darkness. It looks comforting and warm. It feels safe.
I have left the walled city. I have set out by myself. No one can make this journey with me. No one can make it for me. It is my journey.
Out in the desert, I meet myself. The shadow of fear. Doubt. Illusion. Each one comes to me, sometimes clearly, sometimes shape-shifting, appearing as something else at first.
But I know each for what it is. I feel it deep inside of me. And each meeting feels like being bathed by fire.
Again and again I burn. I meet myself, and I burn.
I want to return to the safety of the walled city. I feel the draw. But I know that is not my path. That is not what is true for me now.
There is more for me to meet, out here in the darkness. More of my shadow to see. More illusion to burn.
I have chosen this journey. I have chosen the path of awakening, of meeting the truth of myself fully.
I have chosen this because I am strong enough to burn. I can burn for us all. I can burn so that when you begin to meet yourself, I can guide you.
I can burn so that when I meet you, I meet you fully. With none of me left.
I burn so that I can live here, in service. I burn so that what I bring, what remains, is of service — not to me, or to illusion or pain or ego, but service to expansion, to truth, to love. I burn so that what remains is a vessel, the awakened Divine. I burn so that you know you can too.
I burn to awaken my heart in this world. I burn to drop illusion each time it appears. I burn the illusion of separation, and allow myself to live and teach and coach and serve from Love.
This is my journey. This is my service. My calling isn’t safety, but Divinity, expansion. Love.
When I serve you, I serve those in you. While we might work in the realm of the practical, the work we do together is always a playground for our awakening, for the expansion of our Divine. Where we meet ourselves in inquiry to see what is true…and learn to live from that…
That is our journey.